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#345641 - 10/16/17 08:56 AM Re: Mystery and pups ..BREEZY! [Re: middleofnowhere]
SeanRescueMom Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 02/14/10
Posts: 2454
Likes: 74
Congrats on the new chapter in your life. thumbup The only advice I have to add is with winter coming up keep all gloves and mittens on a high shelf. wink Can't wait to see more pics when you bring Breezy home.
_________________________
Sean - 1998/2014
If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart I'll stay there forever.
Carleton DOB unknown
Neely - 2003/2015
Gizmo -2008/2011
Neeko -1991/2005

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#345675 - 10/17/17 11:16 AM Re: Mystery and pups ..BREEZY! [Re: SeanRescueMom]
Zisso Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/25/10
Posts: 2562
Loc: Eastern Oregon
Likes: 37
I have some bad news to share...

I won't be bringing this puppy home after all. She is okay, but my household is not.

It has come to my attention that there are still some serious issues to be worked out between my dad and I. This comes after I took Z for a walk and didn't come home when dad 'thought' I should be back so he went driving around looking for us because he assumed Z must have gotten in a fight with another dog. Dad is always so damn negative, and feels justified in driving around looking for me, when in fact the only dog Z had Ever fought with was Nadia. Bringing a puppy here would simply cause more things for his negativity to dream up. I need to set more boundaries with dad. I am not bringing a puppy here for us to fight over, and I know he would have His way of raising a puppy, which is old school and we would Definitely clash.

I plan on letting the breeder know today. frown
_________________________
Bev~mom to:
Zisso-DOB 09/16/07

R.I.P. Kiki, Nadia, Pepe, and all my other loves from years gone by.

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#345676 - 10/17/17 11:28 AM Re: Mystery and pups ..BREEZY! [Re: Zisso]
middleofnowhere Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/22/10
Posts: 2641
Likes: 178
I'm sorry to hear this. It sounds like your Dad is still being his difficult self. I wish you could carve out some space in the house that is just yours. I think care-taking is likely the toughest job around.

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#345679 - 10/17/17 12:01 PM Re: Mystery and pups ..BREEZY! [Re: middleofnowhere]
Zisso Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/25/10
Posts: 2562
Loc: Eastern Oregon
Likes: 37
Originally Posted By: middleofnowhere
I'm sorry to hear this. It sounds like your Dad is still being his difficult self. I wish you could carve out some space in the house that is just yours. I think care-taking is likely the toughest job around.


Thank you Middle. Yes dad is still being his difficult self, and will never change. I need to remember that. The space carved out just for me, is my bedroom.

I quit doing my crafts because he is always looking over my shoulder saying 'now what are you painting' etc. I quit doing anything I enjoy because he cannot step back and leave me alone. I may as well sell all of that stuff, but keep hoping beyond hope that he will wake up and realize just how miserable he makes me. A girl can hope, I guess, but I know better. *sigh*
_________________________
Bev~mom to:
Zisso-DOB 09/16/07

R.I.P. Kiki, Nadia, Pepe, and all my other loves from years gone by.

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#345683 - 10/17/17 01:19 PM Re: Mystery and pups ..BREEZY! [Re: Zisso]
middleofnowhere Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/22/10
Posts: 2641
Likes: 178
Bev, he sounds lonely. That doesn't help you much. This situation you are in makes me sad. Sadder than you not getting a puppy.

I guess when you take Z out, you could call in every 1/2 hour or so. I'd guess he probably hates the change in roles and is looking desperately for some control, some power. (I reflect on a friend's father who, when she would come to visit, would insist on things that would slow the plan down - doing this, doing that, waiting - no kidding - for lotion to dry before he put on his socks to get ready to go out.)

I wonder if maybe you could rent a room or a garage from someone where you could go to do your "stuff" whatever that is (craft, painting, staring into space). Just an escape, especially with winter coming home and your work days shortening. On the other hand and maybe a possibility for you, Bi-Mart here is taking applications for seasonal staff. I'm just thinking - "get out of the house" for a bit. I guess it's that or just respond by telling him what you are doing - accept a running commentary as part of it. You could tell him you were painting a geographer (I was trying to spell long-necked-spotted-animal and that is what Mr. Gates came up with for me) and proceed to paint a cow (I know how to spell "cow"!) I'm just thinking about how you might turn this around a bit to almost have fun with it.

Anyway - just damn! on the situation.



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#345689 - 10/17/17 04:45 PM Re: Mystery and pups ..BREEZY! [Re: middleofnowhere]
Zisso Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/25/10
Posts: 2562
Loc: Eastern Oregon
Likes: 37
Middle- interestingly enough, dad just bought another shed that now houses my belongings that we have no room for in the house. His plan is that he is going to sell it in a year to get a good chunk of his money back, but in reality, it is housing projects and my stuff that I refuse to get rid of. So my plan is that once I can make enough space in it, it will be either my she-shed, or it will become a guest room/guest house, because we do not have anywhere for company to stay. My kids won't come visit due to lack of a place to sleep (other than a hotel that they can't afford)

In my mind, I know he is just lonely and needs to be needed. I did apply at BiMart and so now when I say I am going there to grab say shampoo, he just HAS to tell me 'if you see that guy (the manager) it wouldn't hurt to talk to him' or if I pick up the dog crate(folded up) to move it from one place or the other he says' hang on a sec and I will help you' ...just little stuff that adds up to grate on every nerve I own. I tell him repeatedly I know how to and am completely capable of conducting my business without his interference, and that IF I need help I will ask for it, but he never refrains from adding his 2 cents. My car recently broke down at work, and when I couldn't solve the issue on my own, I called him for help so he knows I will ask when help is needed.

When I moved him into this house I was selling extra recliners online, and went to his old house to meet someone buying them. We chatted a little bit, and sure enough, dad had to do a driveby. If I stop along the walk with Z to chat with someone, he will do a driveby and I find it absolutely Humiliating that he does that. I feel like I am suffocating under his watch! I can't breathe when he is always hovering.

I hate this.

Still haven't said much to him. When his feelings get hurt he won't talk for days till he gets over it but I am the 'talk it out and move on' type. This time I was so furious that I decided to give him a dose of his own medicine. I want him to apologize for hovering and being intrusive, but he doesn't see he did anything wrong so will never attempt an apology. I just want a little bit of myself back.

PS Like I told dad, he could of simply called and asked if everything was ok instead of doing his driveby crap and it would have avoided all this nonsense.


Edited by Zisso (10/17/17 04:47 PM)
_________________________
Bev~mom to:
Zisso-DOB 09/16/07

R.I.P. Kiki, Nadia, Pepe, and all my other loves from years gone by.

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#345690 - 10/17/17 05:17 PM Re: Mystery and pups ..BREEZY! [Re: Zisso]
Shilohsmom Offline
Veteran

Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 1480
Likes: 150
I am so sorry to read all this. Tell ya what? You can share in my puppy experience. I know its not the same but maybe will help a little.

So sad about your living situation. I'd say don't get rid of anything now. Things change and there will be a day when you will enjoy all that stuff again.

hugging
_________________________
Rosa

Proud Mom to Shoshi, Eli and Kodiak
and never to be forgotten, Shiloh
Every dog deserves to have a human that thinks its the greatest dog that ever lived!

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#345715 - 10/18/17 10:27 AM Re: Mystery and pups ..BREEZY! [Re: Shilohsmom]
Zisso Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/25/10
Posts: 2562
Loc: Eastern Oregon
Likes: 37
Originally Posted By: Shilohsmom
I am so sorry to read all this. Tell ya what? You can share in my puppy experience. I know its not the same but maybe will help a little.

So sad about your living situation. I'd say don't get rid of anything now. Things change and there will be a day when you will enjoy all that stuff again.

hugging


I would love for you to share your puppy! He is adorable and oh so fluffy!

I don't plan on getting rid of anything, so dad is in for a surprise in a year when he wants to sell said shed LOL

So yesterday one of my granddaughters was having a rough day and posted something on Facebook. I replied and told her 'Don't let this define you. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and point your mind in a positive direction'. It was then that I realized this was great advice for me to follow too! Made the world of difference in dealing with dad, for sure. Doesn't change my decision on the pup, but made living with dad more bearable.

BUT...(as I sit here chuckling and shaking my head)
This morning he came knocking on my bedroom door at 4am. He said he woke up and heard the garage door closing. He wears hearing aids and does not wear them to bed so he could not have possibly heard the garage door. I say in my sleepy yet ever so intelligent voice 'Huh?' He repeats, then goes to peek into the garage. I get up to go check it out and he says 'I could have been dreaming' to which I have to say 'Ya think?'

I check it out and of course everything is just fine.
Dad goes back to bed and I was wide awake.
7:30am and he is still in bed, snoozing away.
Guess I will have to sneak in a nap later...
_________________________
Bev~mom to:
Zisso-DOB 09/16/07

R.I.P. Kiki, Nadia, Pepe, and all my other loves from years gone by.

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#345717 - 10/18/17 02:00 PM Re: Mystery and pups ..BREEZY! [Re: Zisso]
middleofnowhere Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/22/10
Posts: 2641
Likes: 178
Well, hmmm. How about getting him a dog of his own? THAT would give him something to worry about, something to do... Or would that fall on you? Hey, OK I didn't say it was a brilliant idea... And go take your nap.

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#345728 - 10/18/17 09:39 PM Re: Mystery and pups ..BREEZY! [Re: middleofnowhere]
Zisso Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/25/10
Posts: 2562
Loc: Eastern Oregon
Likes: 37
ROFL Middle! You crack me up!

Dad has wanted to adopt every little dog he has seen forever and I keep saying NO! Because I don't do little dogs, I do big dogs, and because little dogs of unknown origin could have unwanted baggage that would create issues around Z. Plus every dog dad wanted to adopt already had their own loving homes...for real.

Soooo...
I am back on the fence. I told him a little while ago that I cancelled the pup. I mean seriously, he needed some drawer pulls and found them for .59/ea. He needed 8 and said that it was 'too much money'...That was $4.72 for 8 drawer pulls. I told him if that was too much money, $250 (his half of the pup) was definitely too much money ..

Now you and I and everyone in the GSD world know that is an awesome price. $500 for a pup?! I know that I am getting that price because the gal is an old friend of mine. And if I go for it, she has a free ride from her birth home to my home smile Dad will still pay his half.

So I need to know:
What would you all do?
Jump in with both feet?
Or wait?

(PS. Got a letter from BiMart and I did not get the job, but the fanciest hotel in town called and sort of offered me a job waitressing, which I don't want, but I am interviewing tomorrow cause it counts on my job search for unemployment. ) I really have my eyes on Ace Hardware and feel like I would be a better fit there. They have some awesome benefits there too!


Edited by Zisso (10/18/17 09:39 PM)
_________________________
Bev~mom to:
Zisso-DOB 09/16/07

R.I.P. Kiki, Nadia, Pepe, and all my other loves from years gone by.

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