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#346625 - 01/13/18 01:11 PM Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi
Selzer Offline
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Registered: 05/14/10
Posts: 1311
Loc: NE Ohio
Likes: 70
I was ready to put her down two weeks ago. She could barely walk, losing her back end. She's over 11, not sure if she hurt herself or what. I took her to the vet. And after viewing her x-rays the vet wanted to try prednizone first. So, I took her home and gave her the pills.

Today I will give her the last one. There has been some improvement. She is walking. But she is very weak. It's a quality of life think for me now. If she seemed to be in pain, or wasn't eating it wouldn't be a question. But she IS eating, and I dunno whether she is in much pain or not. She will trot back and forth outside, but when she comes into the house, she slips and falls out in the back.

So now I am in doubt. I don't want to put her down if she isn't suffering, but she really can't tell me. They are so good at hiding it. The way my back feels right now, which may be contributed to by the weather, makes me wonder if she is having this kind of pain. She has lost some weight. 73 down to 67. But 67 is not a bad weight for her.

Part of me thinks I should have put her down two weeks ago, and the rest of me wants her to get through to better weather and see if that makes a change. The first voice is telling me it is January, and better weather is months off. The other voice is telling me that if she isn't totally paralyzed, is able to walk then there is hope. And the first voice is telling me that without the prednizone she is going to go back to square one.

Whatever I do I am going to kick myself. I will kick myself for putting her down too soon, or putting her down too late. If it IS too soon, she is lucky this back spasm happened on a week-end, because if the vet was open right now, we would be there. But she is eating great. No problem there. She lost weight because I had her on a diet. Now I've upped her intake a little, because I don't want her to lose more weight. She likes the food and eats everything I put in front of her. It is just hard to know when.
_________________________
Seniors: Jenna & Babs, Heidi, Odessa
Mature Adults: Milla & Ninja, Joy, Bear
Adults: Hepzibah, Karma, Cujo II, Lassie
Young Adults: Quinn
Puppies: Ramona, Kojak


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#346626 - 01/13/18 01:45 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Selzer]
Wisc.Tiger_Val Offline
Member First - Owner Second "The Watcher"

Registered: 01/18/10
Posts: 8783
Loc: Wisconsin
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It is a tough call. I really don't worry to much about the too soon, but I worry about waiting too long. Too long is different for each dog in what they can and will tolerate. With Cheyenne I knew the day she couldn't motor around on her own that was it. She was not the type of dog that would accept help for any thing. I saw the day coming made an appointment, three days before the scheduled appointment Cheyenne couldn't get up. So called the next morning to take her in, low and behold she got up and went out to go potty, let us help her in the truck, walked into the Vet's office under her own steam. She was going out on her terms, which was so Cheyenne, but she told me she was worn out and tired.

You know your dog better than anyone. I understand that the weather is so hard on older dogs and spring is so far away. You can only make the decision that you feel is best and try not to question your decision later. If we could see into the future I am sure we would all make different decisions at times.

The thing that matters to Heidi is that you love her, whether she is with you or not.
_________________________
Val da Tiger

Fuzzybutt the cat.
Neilla the Big White puppy.

RIP Cheyenne - AKA: Digger, CheyChey Girl, Cheyenne Large and In charge. 2/16/02 - 2/27/16
RIP Raya - AKA: Raz-a, Ray a Sunshine, RayBestos, the little one, Silly Girl. 9/21/05 - 6/27/14
RIP Lakota - AKA: Bubba, Big Boy, BooBoo (the other part of the Binky and BooBoo team). 1/19/03-9/19/2011
RIP DeeDee - AKA: DD Poo, Little Bit, Binky (part of the Binky and Booboo team) 6/23/02-6/20/11

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#346627 - 01/13/18 03:01 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Wisc.Tiger_Val]
Selzer Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/14/10
Posts: 1311
Loc: NE Ohio
Likes: 70
There is another thing, too. Babs and Jenna are a year older than Heidi. Heidi is very weak in her back. Babs occasionally acts like she is weakening too. Facing losing Babsy too is really hard. And Jenna, I've seen seven year old dogs look older than she looks and acts. But I can come home tomorrow to the inevitable.

I'd like to hit the 13 club. I'd like to have 4 generations. How selfish is that? If that was my goal, I suppose I shouldn't have waited for Jenna to be 4 before breeding her, and then not breeding that pup, but the one from the next litter. And then Breeding Bear at 2, but not keeping any, and waiting until she was 4.5 years before keeping something out of her. And then, Quinnie was 2 in October. She went into heat a few weeks ago. But I did not breed her. She is such a puppy. I thought I'd let her grow up a bit more.

Heidi is one of my more decorated dogs. Babs has the most titles, but I never bred anything out of her. I had three litters, 11 puppies, still have two of them, but they are 9 now and I never tried to breed them. They were not what I wanted to produce. I would have loved to have something out Heidi. But I bred her to a dog that never produced. An Ober von Bad-Boll son. I tried and tried. I wanted something out of that pairing. It wasn't meant to be. Neither the dog nor the bitch ever produced anything. Both excellent critters. It doesn't matter in how much I love the girl though. I took her to class about a year ago, the bitch I had in class went into heat -- story of my life. My trainer wanted me to take her out of retirement. I retired her after an injury jumping. She was the bitch I pulled out of no training for 3 years, and got her last leg of her RA and her first leg of her RE on the same day, taking first place with both. I watched the video of her run and was couldn't believe that was me and my dog.

One of the pup's from Jenna's first litter, Matilda, passed away this week at 8.5 years. Her owner loved her so much. She had a picture with all her ribbons. She had gotten high in trial and several highest GSD in obedience. I showed a littermate with her in Rally 7 years ago and we, both dogs, raised by different trainer/owners got the same score in both shows. When we were there at the Classic last month, she got her second leg of her UD. But she already had hemangiosarcoma at that time. Had her spleen removed the month before. I was there getting Quinnie's title, so I got to see her one last time. Losing shepherds is horrible.


Jenna climbs up on a chair to get onto her counter in her area, where she can see everything going on in the other side of the room and lay comfortably. She figured that trick out in the vet's office when she was a puppy and has been doing it for 12 years. I have the chair in there so she won't try to jump up there or jump all the way off. She acts young, but things can change so quickly. Sorry, just obsessing over the dying right now.
_________________________
Seniors: Jenna & Babs, Heidi, Odessa
Mature Adults: Milla & Ninja, Joy, Bear
Adults: Hepzibah, Karma, Cujo II, Lassie
Young Adults: Quinn
Puppies: Ramona, Kojak


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#346628 - 01/13/18 04:52 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Selzer]
dano Offline
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Registered: 02/15/10
Posts: 631
Loc: Michigan
Likes: 21
Hugo would have been 11 last month. In July, while chasing a ball,he went down like Bambi on ice. Couldn't get up, so was dragging himself to the ball, I stopped him, removed the ball, calmed him down, massaged him, eventually he got up, but he was hurting. I got an ass end harness to shoulder harness gizmo from orthodogs.com
It worked wonderfully, his whatever he hurt healed enough where he didn't need it.
But I had walked down this valley of OMG, is it time to do this? The reality check where we know time stands still for no beast, no matter how much we love them. It bought us the rest of Summer, but when things went South in October, being there a few months before sort of prepared, but in the end, it's a gut wrenching experience no matter how or when it occurs. My heart aches for ya, for all our furries at the bridge.
_________________________

dOghaus

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#346636 - 01/13/18 08:37 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: dano]
MaxaLisa Offline

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(hug)
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Jazmine, mini-mix, 10/18/2011
Max-n-Indy
Max, 5/2001-2/2012, RIP my partner, my Regal Boy
Indy, 5/1997-10/2010, RIP my friend, my teacher

Health Index
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#346639 - 01/13/18 09:31 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: MaxaLisa]
Braverhund Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/10/10
Posts: 5432
Loc: Massachusetts
Likes: 158
I’m thinking of you and dear Heidi. My heartfelt wishes for strength at this difficult time. Please, take extra good care of yourself. hugging hugging hugging
_________________________
Patti
Frauchen von:

Grimm van den Heuvel, "Donnerpratzen"
Smokey The TeddyLion, DLH purrbuddy

Dir gehört mein Herz

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#346643 - 01/13/18 10:59 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Braverhund]
Selzer Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/14/10
Posts: 1311
Loc: NE Ohio
Likes: 70
Thank you all. I thought we were down to our last prednizone, but when I gave her it, there is another in the bottle. So she will get that the day after tomorrow. I think I will give her the carprofin I have at home and see if that makes any difference for her. I don't want to make her worse. I'll run it by the vet on Monday.
_________________________
Seniors: Jenna & Babs, Heidi, Odessa
Mature Adults: Milla & Ninja, Joy, Bear
Adults: Hepzibah, Karma, Cujo II, Lassie
Young Adults: Quinn
Puppies: Ramona, Kojak


Top Likes: 0 
#346649 - 01/14/18 02:50 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Wisc.Tiger_Val]
SeanRescueMom Offline
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Registered: 02/14/10
Posts: 2555
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Originally Posted By: Wisc.Tiger_Val
If we could see into the future I am sure we would all make different decisions at times.


This is so true and we learned our lesson the hard way when we brought Sean to the vet for an evaluation. I think our dogs are so stoic that they hide their pain and we are so attached to them that we want them to make it one more season, one more month, even one more day. cry

Thinking of Heidi and you, I know you will make the best choice for both of you. hugging
_________________________
Sean - 1998/2014
If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart I'll stay there forever.
Carleton DOB unknown
Neely - 2003/2015
Gizmo -2008/2011
Neeko -1991/2005

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#346652 - 01/14/18 05:16 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: SeanRescueMom]
Mary Jane Online   content
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/16/10
Posts: 2733
Likes: 126
I have no wisdom to offer.

You, on the other hand, have the wisdom of both your heart and your head.

take care of yourself and your great dogs,
MJ

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#346656 - 01/14/18 08:51 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Mary Jane]
DarkEyes Offline
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Registered: 12/04/11
Posts: 208
Loc: Tennessee
Likes: 10
Goodness, this is hard to read. Whatever you decide, we are there with you.
_________________________
Abbey: 10 years old German Shepherd
Suki: 10 years old Calico kitty

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#346662 - 01/15/18 10:43 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: DarkEyes]
Shilohsmom Online   content
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 1731
Likes: 160
hugging for you and Heidi. I'm so sorry your going through this. hugging
_________________________
Rosa

Proud Mom to Eli and Kodiak
and never to be forgotten, Shiloh and Shoshi
Every dog deserves to have a human that thinks its the greatest dog that ever lived!

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#346663 - 01/16/18 04:18 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Selzer]
PositiveDog Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 4915
Loc: Ohio
Likes: 134
I'm sorry for your struggle.

Your posts are difficult to read, only because your pain and fears are so tangible.

You know her well and love her best. That will allow you to feel when it is time.
_________________________
Bonnie

With approval of my friends:

SamCat, 03/2011

Seiko, Solo, Sophie, Skye and Buddy - bridge dogs who taught me so much

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#346664 - 01/17/18 12:14 AM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: PositiveDog]
Selzer Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/14/10
Posts: 1311
Loc: NE Ohio
Likes: 70
I called the vet today. They do not want me to go to carprofin or duramax. I called and talked to the vet tech and told her what I have plenty of. I did not mention the toridols. I probably should have. If I have another one of those back spasms, I am going to take some of those. But they said pred is better. I don't want to totally go off it, because we will lose whatever ground we have gained. She isn't exactly better. But she can still walk and trot, she just spills into the house and is very weak in the back. If we have reduced the inflamation, then, if that comes back, she will probably become totally paralyzed in the back, or that is my worry.

She scarfed down her food today. She is all there in her mind. Not like Cujo1. He started losing it, not recognizing people and stuff. He had tumors in his spine and we think in his brain, cancer -- it took him and fast, 1 month. I don't know what we are dealing with here, but the x-ray really did not indicate any mass. The vet mentioned three possibilities, and I am so dumb, I cannot remember what the heck she said. It may be on page 1 of this thread. I'll have to go back and look. Soft-tissue masses may have been one of them.

Anyhow, we are going to continue the prednizone, and go from every other day to every third day and after a week or two, every fourth day. That is the plan anyway.
_________________________
Seniors: Jenna & Babs, Heidi, Odessa
Mature Adults: Milla & Ninja, Joy, Bear
Adults: Hepzibah, Karma, Cujo II, Lassie
Young Adults: Quinn
Puppies: Ramona, Kojak


Top Likes: 0 
#346679 - 01/18/18 01:39 AM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Selzer]
Selzer Offline
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Registered: 05/14/10
Posts: 1311
Loc: NE Ohio
Likes: 70
Turn for the worst. Not toridols, Tramadols. I got the prednizone and made an appointment for Saturday. I don't know, I am giving her until Saturday. She is still eating ok, but her movement is much worse.
_________________________
Seniors: Jenna & Babs, Heidi, Odessa
Mature Adults: Milla & Ninja, Joy, Bear
Adults: Hepzibah, Karma, Cujo II, Lassie
Young Adults: Quinn
Puppies: Ramona, Kojak


Top Likes: 0 
#346681 - 01/18/18 06:44 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Selzer]
Shilohsmom Online   content
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 1731
Likes: 160
Oh sweetie this was not the news I had so hoped for. But I'm not giving up!!!! Sending lots of healing thoughts and prayers your way. Have you tried Adquin? Not sure it would help but it might hugging
_________________________
Rosa

Proud Mom to Eli and Kodiak
and never to be forgotten, Shiloh and Shoshi
Every dog deserves to have a human that thinks its the greatest dog that ever lived!

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#346682 - 01/18/18 08:24 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Shilohsmom]
Braverhund Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/10/10
Posts: 5432
Loc: Massachusetts
Likes: 158
Oh, dear. Grimm, Smokey & I are beaming positive thoughts crossedfingers for your precious Heidi. Please take extra good care of yourself. grouphug
_________________________
Patti
Frauchen von:

Grimm van den Heuvel, "Donnerpratzen"
Smokey The TeddyLion, DLH purrbuddy

Dir gehört mein Herz

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#346688 - 01/19/18 12:40 AM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Braverhund]
Selzer Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/14/10
Posts: 1311
Loc: NE Ohio
Likes: 70
No, I have not tried Adquin. She seems better this morning. I don't know what to do. I have pred in my pocket for her. The appointment is set for Saturday, but I told them when I made it, that I am giving her until Saturday, and I might cancel it. She was out scarfing her food this morning too.

We waited too long with Cujo. He died before they could put the juice in him. He suffered that last night. But before then, he wasn't acting like he was in great pain. We knew he was getting worse and worse though. Heidi is not. She seemed to get a little better. Then worse. Now a little better. It's like a pretty bad roller coaster, more like a train going back and forth over a flat prarie. I better get some wood chips in her area. If it gets warm on the weekend, and all this crap melts she is going to be a real mess. I crate her at night inside, but I don't think restricting her movement is a good idea for long periods.
_________________________
Seniors: Jenna & Babs, Heidi, Odessa
Mature Adults: Milla & Ninja, Joy, Bear
Adults: Hepzibah, Karma, Cujo II, Lassie
Young Adults: Quinn
Puppies: Ramona, Kojak


Top Likes: 0 
#346698 - 01/19/18 11:44 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Selzer]
Shilohsmom Online   content
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 1731
Likes: 160
Just sending healing thoughts and prayers your way. I so hope she takes a big turn for the better soon.
_________________________
Rosa

Proud Mom to Eli and Kodiak
and never to be forgotten, Shiloh and Shoshi
Every dog deserves to have a human that thinks its the greatest dog that ever lived!

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#346719 - 01/20/18 11:26 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Shilohsmom]
Selzer Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/14/10
Posts: 1311
Loc: NE Ohio
Likes: 70
I didn't kill her. It will probably come to that. Eventually, it pretty much always comes to that. But she is still mobile, and she is still eating good. What's the hurry? She doesn't seem to be in pain, and we have pred. If I think she is actually suffering, I will put her down. For now, we'll take it a day at a time. Thanks.
_________________________
Seniors: Jenna & Babs, Heidi, Odessa
Mature Adults: Milla & Ninja, Joy, Bear
Adults: Hepzibah, Karma, Cujo II, Lassie
Young Adults: Quinn
Puppies: Ramona, Kojak


Top Likes: 0 
#346720 - 01/21/18 09:35 AM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Selzer]
Wisc.Tiger_Val Offline
Member First - Owner Second "The Watcher"

Registered: 01/18/10
Posts: 8783
Loc: Wisconsin
Likes: 267
Selzer, I know you are in limbo and that is a crappy place to be, but letting a dog go and releasing them from pain isn't killing them. Killing them is like what I read on a friends FB page that an owner of one of her pups did no training, the pup bit her son and then turned the dog over to the ACO at 8 months old and was put down.

Caring for your dogs as long as you can and they are still willing to do some activities isn't killing your dog.

With older dogs it is just a day by day situation. When their body can't any more it is time.
_________________________
Val da Tiger

Fuzzybutt the cat.
Neilla the Big White puppy.

RIP Cheyenne - AKA: Digger, CheyChey Girl, Cheyenne Large and In charge. 2/16/02 - 2/27/16
RIP Raya - AKA: Raz-a, Ray a Sunshine, RayBestos, the little one, Silly Girl. 9/21/05 - 6/27/14
RIP Lakota - AKA: Bubba, Big Boy, BooBoo (the other part of the Binky and BooBoo team). 1/19/03-9/19/2011
RIP DeeDee - AKA: DD Poo, Little Bit, Binky (part of the Binky and Booboo team) 6/23/02-6/20/11

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#346723 - 01/21/18 12:11 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Wisc.Tiger_Val]
Sylv Offline
Veteran

Registered: 02/21/10
Posts: 1539
Loc: Sharon, Ontario, Canada
Likes: 38
You guys are in my thoughts.
_________________________
Suki May 31/08
Diva Dec 4/09

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#346724 - 01/21/18 01:17 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Wisc.Tiger_Val]
Braverhund Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/10/10
Posts: 5432
Loc: Massachusetts
Likes: 158
We are sending you and Heidi our best good thoughts today. hugging congrats hugging
_________________________
Patti
Frauchen von:

Grimm van den Heuvel, "Donnerpratzen"
Smokey The TeddyLion, DLH purrbuddy

Dir gehört mein Herz

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#346728 - 01/21/18 03:58 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Wisc.Tiger_Val]
Mary Jane Online   content
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/16/10
Posts: 2733
Likes: 126
Originally Posted By: Wisc.Tiger_Val
....
Caring for your dogs as long as you can and they are still willing to do some activities isn't killing your dog.



Those are the words we're living by.

Every day counts.

take care,
MJ

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#346730 - 01/21/18 08:40 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Wisc.Tiger_Val]
Selzer Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/14/10
Posts: 1311
Loc: NE Ohio
Likes: 70
I'm sorry, I am in two places with euthanasia in this case. It is killing her because it is taking her life, and if I feel that I am doing that for selfish reasons, like, she is not getting any better, so let's let her go now, it will be easier to manage, etc. But I also believe that euthanasia is the last gift we can give our beloved companion. And it can be selfish to prolong a critter's life, allowing them to suffer, because we cannot bring ourselves to take that step.

I dunno where we are right now. Today I wish I would have put her down yesterday. But then she tore into her food like I didn't feed her for three days. She is socially interested in what the other dogs are doing. She is happy to see me. She is still managing to walk, and even trot a little.

This is the price of sharing our life with such a spectacular creature.
_________________________
Seniors: Jenna & Babs, Heidi, Odessa
Mature Adults: Milla & Ninja, Joy, Bear
Adults: Hepzibah, Karma, Cujo II, Lassie
Young Adults: Quinn
Puppies: Ramona, Kojak


Top Likes: 0 
#346732 - 01/22/18 10:32 AM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Selzer]
Wisc.Tiger_Val Offline
Member First - Owner Second "The Watcher"

Registered: 01/18/10
Posts: 8783
Loc: Wisconsin
Likes: 267
The ups and downs are gut wrenching. It is the last gift we can do for our beloved pets but it is the MOST difficult.
_________________________
Val da Tiger

Fuzzybutt the cat.
Neilla the Big White puppy.

RIP Cheyenne - AKA: Digger, CheyChey Girl, Cheyenne Large and In charge. 2/16/02 - 2/27/16
RIP Raya - AKA: Raz-a, Ray a Sunshine, RayBestos, the little one, Silly Girl. 9/21/05 - 6/27/14
RIP Lakota - AKA: Bubba, Big Boy, BooBoo (the other part of the Binky and BooBoo team). 1/19/03-9/19/2011
RIP DeeDee - AKA: DD Poo, Little Bit, Binky (part of the Binky and Booboo team) 6/23/02-6/20/11

Top Likes: 1 
#346736 - 01/22/18 04:07 PM Re: Getting ready to say goodbye to Heidi [Re: Wisc.Tiger_Val]
Braverhund Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 02/10/10
Posts: 5432
Loc: Massachusetts
Likes: 158
Such a tribute to the deep, trusting bond you both share. I wish this were easier for you both. I am sending you strength vibes. hugging
_________________________
Patti
Frauchen von:

Grimm van den Heuvel, "Donnerpratzen"
Smokey The TeddyLion, DLH purrbuddy

Dir gehört mein Herz

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